A hopeful 2009

Yesterday as I gave my dad a big hug at the airport, I almost said, "next time we see you maybe we'll have a baby." Then I stopped myself. No more next times. I've been doing next times for awhile. Two years ago, I spent a raucous weekend in Las Vegas celebrating my sister's 21st birthday, and remember thinking the trip was a last hurrah before motherhood. Two summers ago I left Colorado, pregnant and thought, "next summer we'll be bringing our little one." We've celebrated two New Year's thinking, "in this coming year we will become parents." So, as I was wrapped in a dad hug, I let go of next time.

As I ring in 2009, I will be hopeful that this year will bring us Baby Barto. But I will not hold onto the expectation too tightly, so I can attempt to be open to whatever the universe has in store.

P.S. I promise you that I do think about other things besides Baby Barto related topics. But as our time on the waitlist hits the 24 week mark (which was the last week I wrote in my calendar when I made a countdown back in September), I am trying to embrace the lessons the wait is teaching me. And since most lessons take some time to learn, the blog is a nice place to share the process.

Santa & Me

Jose & Me after a yummy mountain breakfast

The Best Kind of Day

This weekend Jose and I watched the first two seasons of The Office. I think it ended up being about 30 episodes. We snuggled on the couch, ordered take-out, drank wine and laughed a lot. This now enters the Lazy Day Hall of Fame along with the Dr. 90210 marathon and playing Cooking Mama on the Wii until our hands hurt.




(Not a photo from this weekend but I thought it went with the theme)

Aunt Cathy

Yesterday I received a box of yummy treats from my Aunt Cathy. In this box of goodness, there is a batch of monster cookies, which are the best cookies ever. I'm currently munching on one as I write this post. They are delicious. During my first year of teaching, I had a stockpile of these cookies in the freezer and would break into them after an awful day. I think I made them last until the spring and that took a lot of willpower because in that first year, most days were pretty bad. Not only are these treats filled with peanut butter, m&ms, chocolate chips, but also Aunt Cathy mixes in a little love, her infectious smile and kindness.

Thanks Aunt Cathy!

(Leaving month #5)

Release

Even with all my attempts at being in the moment (as chronicled in previous posts), I've started feeling like my baby expectations are weighing me down. They are ever present. I play the "I wonder if" game. I wonder if the next time I see my mom Baby Barto will be with us? I wonder if next Christmas we'll be carting a little one to see Santa and light displays? I wonder if Baby Barto will be here when the next season of Entourage is on? It's like every future event, is prefaced with "I wonder if." At first this was a fun game to play, but as I watch things slow down a bit in adoption-land the "I wonder if" is starting to get exhausting. And even with a referral, we'll still nave more unknown waiting to do. Waiting for court, waiting for travel.

In an effort to let some of this go, I made a list. A list of all those thoughts, the counting, the wishes and expectations taking up space in my brain. And I set them on fire (in the grill). I wanted to symbolically release all these longings into the universe. I needed to feel lighter, to be more in the moment. As I watched the flame engulf my list, I started worrying that a spark would blow into the leaves and start a fire that would burn down our neighborhood. So, I put it out. (I know this is rather unlikely, but still I would've felt guity it I burnt down our neighborhood. Try explaining that to the neighbors and the fire department.)

But it felt good to acknowledge that I do have some control. I have control over how I approach the waiting, the unknown. I can control how I spend these next months. Rather than thinking about how something is missing from my life, I can enjoy all that is in my life right now, in this very moment. I can get excited for the holidays and the time spent with family and friends. I can send love into the world for Baby Barto, the people caring for him/her and for his/her first family. I can let go.

Entering a new week filled with possibilities.

My "kids"

When my students ask me if I have any children, I usually reply "Yes, 106." I love being a teacher. As a child, I played teacher in the classroom my mom created for me in the hallway. My classroom had two desks and a chalkboard. I taught real students and imaginary ones. During college, I was accepted into our education program, but never officially enrolled because I didn't want to take the extra year needed to finish my degree (do I ever wish I had spent that extra year. I ended up taking three years later on to earn a teaching certificate).

During college, my focus was always on education and kids, so I decided I needed to try something new after graduation. My two best friends and I headed off to San Diego where I took a job at La Jolla Playhouse, a regional theater for performing arts. After about six months, I was forced to listen to my heart when I realized I spent much of my non-work time tutoring two Korean brothers, babysitting my boss' kids, reading at a community center and teaching English to a recent immigrant.

Since then, I have worked with girls in the juvenile justice system, been an AmeriCorps volunteer in a charter school in Chicago, taught emotionally impaired students in Detroit and now I teach Texas Studies to 7th graders. My students have given me purpose on some of my hardest days. And they have served as a distraction during this wait. Planning lessons, arranging field trips and attending sporting events keeps me busy. Thanks kids!

This is my co-worker Carli and me at the Girls' City Volleyball Championship this year. (We won!)

Entering Week #20

Thanks Mom!

My mom is an organizing, decorating, cleaning queen. Somehow this genetic trait skipped me because I am not so great at any of those three things. I do what is necessary to keep the house looking somewhat decent. My mom's house and yard always look amazing. So, this week my mom came to town to help us get ready for Baby Barto and to celebrate Thanksgiving.

We totally cleaned out Baby Barto's room. I think the best comment of the week was "You better learn the Heimlich maneuver for when Baby Barto starts choking on the dust bunnies." In my defense, they were behind a dresser, but they were quite impressive. My mom sent all my childhood books, so we put those on the shelves. We bought a dresser that Baby Barto should still be using when he/she becomes Teen Barto. We even ordered a crib (which should arrive in 6 to 8 weeks - which will come first a referral or a crib?). After we scrubbed, we had to find new places for all the stuff that came from that room, which then required organizing and cleaning of various other rooms in the house. It was quite the productive week.

We did squeeze in some time for fun too (although my mom would say all that cleaning and organizing was fun). We went to a potluck with other Ethiopian adoptive families in the area. We had lunch with my friend Carli from work and ate Jose's yummy Thanksgiving meal.

I am a lucky gal to have such a great mom who will spend her vacation time helping me organize and clean. Mom, you are the best. I can't wait to introduce Baby Barto to Grandma Sharon.

Started like this...

Moved all the extra stuff here

Found new homes for all the extra stuff in time for Thanksgiving

Baby Barto's room

Leaving Week # 19

Making room for Baby Barto

Baby Barto's future room currently is our guest room/Jose's dressing room. We need to create some space for Baby Barto and all the stuff that seems to come with babies. This weekend we did a serious Goodwill, 1/2 Price Books run.

Donated this

to make room forSold these

to make room for
Entering week #18

Pep Talk

Today at school I gave my kids a pep talk about staying focused, raising their grades and taking advantage of the opportunities offered to them at school. My students aren't the only ones needing some motivational words. I have found myself engaged in some pep-talk lately related to our wait.

Things that roll around in my head ...

1. "If this is the hardest thing going on in your life now, you're pretty lucky. Look at all the tragedy in the world, this isn't so tough is it?"

2. "If the baby doesn't come until spring, you won't have to give the TAKS test." (The TAKS tests are the awful high stakes tests we give our kids and administering them is a tense yet mind-numbing week. This piece of pep is good for a quick pick me up. I seriously hate giving those tests.)

3. "If you take maternity leave in the spring, then it can just flow right into summer and you won't have to pay for daycare until the fall."

4. "Look at how quickly the last four months have gone. The next 2 surely will fly by too."

5. "You have been to Santa Fe, Michigan, California, Cambridge, Colorado, Austin, College Station, New Orleans, Minnesota and Mexico in the past year. These outings will change once the baby comes, so enjoy yourself."

6. "When the baby comes, it won't be as easy to_________________ (fill in the blank with sleep-in, go to yoga multiple times a week, watch TV after a long day, run quick errands, stay late at school and other such activities), so relish these moments because your life will soon be very different."

7. "Calm down, it will happen. It's all part of the plan."

8. "Let it go. Stop obsessing over it. Trying to calculate when it will happen won't make the phone ring any sooner."

9. "Look at the unofficial list. Things have slowed down. Adjust your expectations. Tell yourself you'll likely get the referral by February. That's really not far away and then if happens sooner, you'll be surprised."

10. And of course the good old stand-by: "This moment is all there is. This moment is all there is. This moment is all there is."

And I was tagged by Theresa to post my 4th photo from my 4th file on my computer. This is the 4th picture of the 4th file that actually would open and download onto the blog.

Spring in Michigan.

Leaving month #4

Babies 101

Jose and I attended a baby care class today. I enrolled us for this class back in August when Nov. seemed far away. This fall has just zoomed along. The class took place at the hospital complex where some not so great stuff has happened to us, so it was hard at first to be there among all those pregnant ladies. Then I reminded myself that I had coffee for breakfast, my jeans are actually too loose and I had wine last night and that cheered me up a bit. We also had lunch with a couple who just moved to Dallas and got so caught up in talking we were a little late to the afternoon session. We exchanged info, so hopefully we'll hang out again.

A little peace & love from Texas...

About to enter week #16

Voting

Jose and I voted last weekend. They have early voting here in Texas, which is pretty great. You can vote at any early site anywhere in the county. How handy is that? I looked at my electronic ballot several times just to take it in. To reflect on what my vote meant for me and for our country (no matter the outcome it has been an important election season). I left the polling site giddy thinking about the possibility of what could be...

I know that not everyone will cast a ballot similiar to mine (especially here). But that's the beauty of voting. We each get to make our own decision as to who we think will best represent us, our families, our communities and our country.

I made Jose take my picture after we voted. I know I'm a dork.

Why it's hard to live in Texas some days...
In the middle of week 15.

Texas State Fair

This weekend was our annual trip to the Texas State Fair. It's crazy that we've lived here long enough to have a annual trip. We enjoyed watching the people and eating the fried food. Maybe next year Baby Barto will be joining us.

Entering Week #14

Tag

I was "tagged" by Rebecca at http://adoptioncubed.blogspot.com/. I have to write 7 random things about myself (I'm too lazy right now to figure out how to make the cute tag picture go on my page or link Rebecca's name to her blog.)

1. Tonight on my way home from work I caught my fingers in my car window and then couldn't get my brain to work right to roll the window down. Now I'm having a hard time typing.

2. One night I decided to go to Europe with this on again/off again boyfriend and 24 hours later I was there. That relationship didn't last but the trip sure was great.

3. I wore flip-flops with my wedding dress.

Here I am with my darling sister and brother. (This was the best picture that I could find of my feet that would upload.)

4. Although I'm totally into the Presidential election, I have no idea what is going on locally.

5. I will stop to watch My Super Sweet 16 if it's on while I'm flipping channels.

6. I get nervous when I have to do mental math, especially when I have to make change.

7. I made up my own major in college - Communities and Social Justice.

I'm not good at passing this stuff on, so if you haven't been tagged and want to be, go for it!

Entering Month #4

We are on our way into month #4.

Here are some of the predictions for our referral date:

Suzie - Oct. 17th or 23rd

Theresa -Oct. 28th

Jose - Oct. 24th (only because I wistfully asked, "when do you think we'll get our referral?" And he said, "three weeks from today." So of course I counted and ended up with Oct. 24th)

Me - Nov. 24th (plus this is when my mom is here and how neat would that be?)

Mom - In her own words, "I'll go with November 24th, too, because if we double our wishes out into the Universe, maybe it will help!!! But remember it's in the details, so be more specific - November 24, 2008! November 24, 2008!!! Monday - November 24, 2008!!!!!!!"

Alison - Dec. 2nd

Dad - Dec. 7th


Here is a picture from our fun-while-we-wait-and-pretend-like-we-are-in-college-again-adventure in New Orleans.

Imagining Baby Barto

I've been spending a lot of time imagining what life will be like when Baby Barto arrives. As I go through my daily routine, I think about Baby Barto in it. What will it be like when we go shopping, out to eat, get up in the morning, go to breakfast, hang out on a Friday night, go to work, come home from work, go to my students' sporting events? I imagine the three of us cuddling in bed on a Saturday morning and then heading out on some adventure. I realize that there will also be moments when we will be up at 3am with a sick child and be freaking out. There have been days when I'm at school until 6 when I realize I need to start practicing being more productive at work. I know that there are ups and downs to parenthood. But watching the joy of my friends and family as they parent has convinced me that there seem to be enough ups to soften the downs.





As part of our fun-while-we-wait campaign, we drove to College Station last Saturday to see a Texas A & M game. Those are some serious fans.

Leaving Week #12

"Our" Baby

Baby Barto is already loved by many people. My parents both have made comments about when "we get our baby." My mom is sharing blogs and books about Ethiopia with her friends. My friend stated yesterday that "we have a baby coming." So many people are so excited about Baby Barto.

I like to envision this love finding its way to Ethiopia. I picture it embracing a baby that may be scared and confused. I imagine it whispering into the ear of a mother that "our" child will continue to be fiercely loved. I dream about the day that this love will turn into hugs, stories and laughter.

Leaving Week #11

Expecting

I'm a little jealous of pregnant people because at a certain point you know they are going have a baby. They glow and pat their cute round bellies. People can look at pregnant gals and know that they are about to become mothers. It's not that I'm longing for pregnancy, but rather, I wish for clearer announcement to the world that I'm on my way to becoming a mom. I'm so excited about this next step in my life, and I want to be able to share that.

So, I bought a necklace. I saw it on a blog early in my blog reading days and wanted it, but it seemed too soon. Now that we are in the midst of our wait, I needed something tangible that represents that this really, actually could be happening for us. My necklace came in the mail today in the sweetest little box, and I was so thrilled to put it on.

Here is the etsy site of the woman who made it. Her daughter is also adopting from Ethiopia.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=sr_gallery_5&listing_id=14480969

Leaving month #2

Today marks the first day of month #3 on the waitlist. We are getting closer and you'd think that would spur us on to make baby preparations. But our baby prep includes about 10 books (mostly purchased by others) and four cute baby outfits picked up over the past year. I think I worry about jinxing the wait with a flurry of purchases. I don't know if I could handle looking at an empty baby room for months and months.

We plan on working on Baby Barto's room when my mom comes for Thanksgiving. She rocks at that kind of stuff. That seems like good timing - hopefully we'll have a referral by then or be really close to one.

Counting

When I was a kid, I remember wondering if as an adult I would look forward to things like birthdays as much as I did then. The anticipation of a birthday or my dad’s visit or Christmas would leave me giddy with excitement. As I got older I still looked forward to big events, but no longer was I focused on the tangible stuff like presents or a party. I’ve counted down to my graduation from college, long weekends with Jose when we did long-distance, visits with friends & family, my wedding day.

Now, I am anticipating the arrival of Baby Barto and this wait is a whole different deal. Our “wait” started a little more than 18 months ago when we began trying to build our family. With all that has happened in those months, it’s really hard to believe it hasn’t even been two years. Unlike a birthday or a set milestone, this wait doesn’t have a specific ending date. Not knowing the when makes it hard at times to picture that we really will be parents.

There is no “due date”, no set time by which we’ll be a family. Even without a set date, I do try to find ways to count. I go to the unofficial list of families working with our agency being kept by a fellow blogger and try to predict when we might get the call. I count the number of families ahead of us (25) and how many are requesting girls (17), boys (2) or either (5). I go to the referral list and count the number of months families waited. I count the weeks we’ve been officially waiting (8) and number of months since we started the process (8). I count how many weeks it could be if we are on the early end of the referral window (5) or the later (14). Counting is comforting. It provides a perspective of some sort. It’s totally against my whole Buddhist notions of being present in the moment, but it works. So, I’ll keep track of the days, the weeks, the months because then it feels like we are moving forward, moving towards the day we meet Baby Barto.

Obama

Thursday night was the first time I’ve sobbed during a political speech. The tears started during the DNC video about Obama’s life and pretty much continued on and off until Nancy P. closed the thing down. I’m not a big political junkie like Jose or a hard core activist, but this election has fired me up. I am drawn to Obama’s vision for our country and really want to believe change is possible.

This election has taken on a new dimension for me as the future mother of an Ethiopian-American. As I watched the pictures of Obama with his mother, I felt a connection to her (and then I cried some more). I too will be the White mother of a Black child. I wonder what that was like for them. How did she approach issues of race with her son? How did she teach him to be confident in a racist world? How did he feel growing up in a family that didn’t look like him? I guess I need to read his book again. But it provides a measure of reassurance that interracial families do figure it out.

I also am excited by the idea that our child will grow up in a United States in which an African American man and a woman were the top contenders for the highest position in our country. Hopefully, this election is an indication that the barriers often faced by women and people of color will continue to fall. Perhaps this election signals that Baby Barto will live in a country where racism and sexism are more often than not trumped by equality and fairness.

Barak Obama has given me hope that our country can make some serious change. He has given me hope that our nation can strive to do the right thing. I want to raise our child in the country that Obama believes we can become.

Starting School

I go back to school on Monday to 120 7th graders. Fun stuff. I think school will help the wait. There is always so much to do at the start of the year to keep a gal distracted. Mom and Aunt Cathy, I included these photos of my room because all the cute stuff is from you two.

Entering month #2

We have just finished our first month on the waitlist. During this first month of waiting, we have had some big discussions about the selfishness/selflessness of being parents and about the endless unknowns that come with parenthood. Sometimes I wish Google could answer these big questions for us.

This month I also have scheduled a babycare/CPR class for us and started meeting with pediatricians. The Ethiopian adoption book club I joined is currently reading Notes from the Hyena's Belly. And I've been knitting.

Tiny Tope

Jose and I went to New Mexico this weekend and had a blast. Friday night we saw the Albuquerque Isotopes, a minor league baseball team, and bought Baby Barto this cute onesie.

Uncle Nick

This weekend I spent visiting my family in Colorado. We drove up in the mountains to see my brother Nick in Steamboat Springs. It was great to see where he has spent the past year. He is such the Colorado poster resident. He hikes, camps, snowboards, climbs and just really enjoys the mountains. I decided that Jose and I can stay in the condo drinking hot chocolate while Uncle Nick teaches Baby Barto how to ski. Nick bought matching mom and baby Steamboat sweatshirts for me for my birthday. Isn't he sweet?

Here and there

Our dossier has arrived in Ethiopia. Now I feel like a little bit of us is in the same place as Baby Barto. Our agency will have it translated into Amarhic and then their in-country staff holds on to it until we get our referral.

Yesterday, I received letters from my cousin Suzie and one of my best friends, Janis. It wasn't my birthday and I hadn't sent any gifts (the two mailers are very good about thank-you notes), so I was puzzled as to their contents. When I opened up the envelopes, I found that Suzie had sent me an article about adoption she had read in her parent magazine and Janis sent me coupons to Babies-R-Us. I felt so special that these two had seen these items and not only thought of me, but then took the time to find stamps, envelopes and my address. I feel so fortunate to have so many amazingly supportive people in my life.

Right: With Janis and her girls

Left: Suzie with the Michigan football player Mr. Potato Head she bought for us this summer.

This is actually happening

This is for real. No longer are we on the edges of the adoption journey, we are in the thick of it. In as little as 3 months, we could get a phone call that will change everything. Before Thanksgiving, we might see the picture of a child to whom we will be forever linked. During the spring of next year, we may be making a journey filled with joy, sorrow and love. By next summer, we may be Mom and Dad.

Waitlist

We are officially on the waitlist. Our dossier is on its way to D.C. and then it'll be off to Ethiopia. Our agency says the wait for a referral is typically 3-5 months. Then it'll likely be another 2-3 months before we actually travel to Ethiopia . Now we have to do our adoption training, get shots, read about babies and cram more stuff into our house.

Blogs

I love Ethiopian adoption blogs. When we were starting our adoption research, I discovered this whole network of people who were writing about their adoptions. For several nights in a row I spent hours reading about people's adoption journeys. Some people had already returned with their children, and it was fascinating to read about the whole process in one night. Others were in a variety of stages and were sharing their milestones, thoughts and feelings about their adoption. I think I have probably checked a blog or two or ten a day since we made the decision to adopt from Ethiopia.

During pregnancy there are websites that map out your growing fetus week by week. For adoption, there isn't a specific time frame that leads to the arrival of baby. There are no weekly e-mails telling you your baby is now a size of grain of rice and this is how you may be feeling. My friends and family have not built their families this way. So, these adoption blogs provide me with reassurance about the adoption process. Through these women, I find a common connection. Some entries have made me think of something in a new way and others make me feel comforted that I am not the only one having certain thoughts around adoption, race or parenting.

I am excited for people I have never met and saddened when they experience a setback. When we got an encouraging e-mail from our agency on Friday, the first thing I did was check on the blog of a woman who has been waiting for almost 6 months for her referral. She received her referral, and now I will excitedly continue to follow her journey to her daughter.

There are also anti-adoption blogs, blogs written by adults of color who were adopted by white parents and blogs about anti-racist parenting. These blogs have also enriched the adoption experience. I have been forced to think deeply about what all this will mean for Baby Barto. I have read blogs with points of view I never would have considered, and I think this has been extremely important in widening my perspective.

The adoption journey is complex. I have been amazed by what I can access on the Internet and by the wide variety of commentary I have found on adoption. By opening my mind to diverse view points, I hope I am gathering tools that will help me parent Baby Barto.

Daycare & Democrats

Today I started my search for a daycare. Since I am on summer vacation, I decided I might as well start researching happy, nurturing places for Baby Barto. I visited 3 places today. I felt like I didn't have very clear answers regarding timing, age or really anything they asked. All three centers seemed like they were willing to be flexible, so that was encouraging.

As one of my "embrace the present" activities, I decided to get involved with the Dallas County Young Democrats. How happy was I to drive into a parking lot where numerous cars had Obama bumper stickers? Very! I went to a meeting on Tuesday and attended a social outing tonight. I think I am close to aging out of the "Young Democrats," but it might be a fun, interesting way to be involved in the political process and meet new people.

Managing Expectations

When we decided to become parents, we assumed that I’d get pregnant and 40 weeks later we would hold our little creation in our arms. When that vision did not pan out, we switched our expectations. We’d adopt. In less than a year, it seemed, we could be on our way to Africa to welcome a little one into our family. Yet, there have been some unanticipated bumps in this journey as well.

In all of this, I have to remind myself that I only have right now. I don’t know what will come tomorrow much less 6 months from now, so I need to live in the present. I need to spend this time strengthening my relationships, becoming a better teacher and enjoying my life as it is. I need to let go of my expectations and be open to what the universe gives me today.

Notice of Favorable Determination Concerning Application for the Advance Processing of Orphan Petition

The U.S. government has determined that we "are able to furnish proper care to an orphan." After we have this final piece of paper authenticated in Texas, our dossier will make its way to the U.S. State Dept and Ethiopian Embassy. Today my mom & I took our CIS notice to the post office, so it's on the way to our dossier service (aka magic lady) who will ensure that it properly joins our other paperwork. Then we will be one step closer to the waitlist, which ultimately is one step closer to Baby Barto.

Auntie Jess

Jessica and I have been best of friends since college. Now, she lives in California, which is 1700 miles away from my current home. Luckily, our time in Michigan this summer overlapped and we spent a couple of days together. Jessica has a friend, Jenafir, whose job takes her to Ethiopia. Jenafir recently went on a trip there, and Jess asked her to bring back a little part of Ethiopia for my altar. How sweet and wonderful is that?

Reunion

Last night I saw Michaelle, my best friend from high school, for the first time in 10 years. It turns out she and her husband are also adopting from Ethiopia. My mom found this out while at the dentist office in my small hometown and immediately called Michaelle's mom. So, we began catching-up last night. It was great to actually talk (rather than read blogs obsessively) to someone going through the same process. They are about 2 months ahead of us. I'm so excited to be reunited with this amazing woman.

Knitting

Through my blog reading, I've discovered that some families are able to send things to their child after the referral is given. I thought I'd knit a blanket for Baby Barto, and hopefully we'll be able to send it to him/her while we all wait for each other. With each stitch, I am knitting tiny bits of love, hope and excitement.

Here is the blanket in its early stage. Fluffy, my model, is my childhood stuffed animal.

Relating to South Park

On the plane ride to Michigan, I was watching an episode of South Park Jose had downloaded onto my i-pod. In this episode, Cartman can't wait for the Wii to be released. He tells his little friends that he wishes he could be frozen like astronauts in science fiction movies who travel to far away planets. Then when he woke up it would be time to get the Wii, but he wouldn't feel like any time had passed.

I relate to you, Cartman. Not that I want to be frozen and miss all the wonders of life, but waiting is hard. And we're not even "officially" waiting yet.

A little closer

Yesterday we had our CIS fingerprints taken, and I mailed off the rest of our paperwork to our dossier service. Now we wait for our official approval from CIS and all the paperwork to be made official.

More fingerprints

We have received our "Orphan Petition Fingerprint Referral Notice!" We have 87 days to get our fingerprints taken. We are going at 8am Friday morning. How great that we received this before I went to Michigan for 4 weeks. Now, I need to head down to HR and plead with someone to finish my employer letter.

Baby Barto, you're getting closer to Texas everyday. I know Texas may sound like a far, strange place (we thought that too), but we promise to help the transition with lots of love and laughter.

Next steps

I spoke with our caseworker from our adoption agency yesterday about what happens next. Here is the recap...

1. Our homstudy was sent to CIS (immigration). They will send us a letter in 4-8 weeks with an appointment for fingerprints. Then we go get our fingerprints taken and wait 4-8 weeks for the official approval from the U.S. government.

2. While we wait for CIS, our various pieces of paperwork get stamped and approved in the states in which they were notarized (CA,MN, TX, MI, FL).

3. Once we have the CIS approval and the paperwork is all back, our whole packet is sent to the Dept of State and the Ethiopian Embassy. At this point we are officially on the "waitlist" for 3 to 5 months.

4. After 3-5 months of waiting, we will receive a referral (Baby Barto). Yippee!!

5. We wait 2-3 months for a court date where Baby Barto becomes part of our family.

6. We then travel about 3 weeks after that.

This puts us in Ethiopia between Jan and May of 2009.

(The photo is of my darling Janis' daughter Audrey almost 3 years ago.)

Gladney Approved!

Our homestudy was approved by Gladney. We are one step closer to Baby Barto. I'm a little fuzzy on what exactly happens next, but I'll keep you posted.

Alison, my stepmom, made me this lovely quilt as a Mother's Day present. Baby Barto, you are sure loved!

Mother's Day

My mom sent me a Mother's Day gift for the "expecting mom." Isn't she the sweetest? Maybe next year I'll be celebrating Mother's Day as a mother. I took a picture of my altar to showcase the sweet frame my mom sent with a poem about Baby Barto.

Living It Up

As we actually move closer to becoming a family of 3, we are trying to squeeze in all things that will be hard to do with a child. We went to a Kanye West concert on a weeknight, did community service with my students today, have planned a bunch of trips for this summer and are enjoying lazy weekends. I've been think a lot lately about how our lives will change when we have a baby. I try to imagine how it will work, and it just blows my mind. I know we'll figure it out because I have lots of good role models. So, here's to sleeping in until 11 tomorrow!

Jose & Sara in 8 pages

We received a copy of our homestudy draft on Friday. Our social worker believes that we are fit to parent an Ethiopian child. Now we send it back with any changes and it becomes official. Then it gets sent off to the immigration people. We have most of our other paperwork complete. I am just waiting on proof of insurance from my school district. I think I might start becoming a pest next week. They've had a month - that seems like plenty of time.

The paper trickle

Jose's birth certificate came in the mail today. We also have recently received back our employment letters, a bank letter & doctor letters. I like checking things off my list. Jose also has written our statement of why we want to adopt an Ethiopian child (he's such a good writer). And we have mailed out our fingerprints to check that we are not on the FBI's most wanted list.

This is the part I guess I did not really anticipate taking so long, but we'll get there. At least if we're becoming parents at this time next year, I won't have to give all those dreaded state TAKS exams because I'll be on leave.

Jess and I made an altar for the baby this weekend (thanks Jess). We put candles, incense, an African children's book, some Ethiopian coffee, holy water from Fatima and hanging butterflies on it. I felt I needed a symbolic way of sending love into the universe for Baby Barto and his/her Ethiopian family and a way to feel connected to them.

Homestudy

We accomplished a big step in the adoption process by having our homestudy on Friday. A really nice social worker came and asked us all sorts of questions about our marriage, our families and ourselves. She said we "passed," so that's good. Jose managed to refrain from saying "to save our marriage" when she asked why we wanted to adopt. We'd been spending the week practicing bad answers.

Now we continue the paperwork process. When our homestudy is written. it is sent off to U.S. immigration. Then we are cleared to bring home a foreign baby and we can officially send our paperwork to Ethiopia. This step looks like it could be at least 3 to 4 months away plus the 5 to 8 months of waiting before travel.

My friend Carli (from work) and I saw the children's author Mo Willems speak today. I bought Baby Barto a book and had Mo Willems autograph it. Since we can't really buy other stuff without knowing gender and age, books seem like a fun thing to start collecting. And it helps the process feel more real - like there will actually be a child at the end of the waiting and paperwork.

Paperwork

I have decided this week I must complete the rest of our paperwork. I need to leave school in the afternoon rather than evening and get all our stuff together. I need to send off to our agency some photos, measurments of our house, doctor's notes, employment letters and insurance stuff. I must be motivated!

The start

It is with happy hearts that we have started the adventure of adopting from Ethiopia. Since we have family and friends across the country and a few sprinkled around the world, we thought this might be a handy way to keep you posted on our steps to Baby Barto.



Here is a break-down of the next year or so...

1. Decided to adopt (completed)

2. Fill out loads of paperwork (in progress)

3. Have homestudy - a social worker comes to our house to chat with us and make sure we seem like we'd be okay parents (scheduled - April 4th)

4. Send in loads of paperwork to various places to get checked and stamped and checked some more.

5. Paperwork is sent to Ethiopia.

6. We wait 3-5 months and receive a referral for a baby

7. Once we accept the referral, we wait 1-2 months for a court date and the baby is officially a Bartolomei

8. Travel about 1 month after the court date

9. Come home and figure out how to be parents.



Based on my rough calculations, we'll likely be a family by the start of 2009.