Yesterday as I gave my dad a big hug at the airport, I almost said, "next time we see you maybe we'll have a baby." Then I stopped myself. No more next times. I've been doing next times for awhile. Two years ago, I spent a raucous weekend in Las Vegas celebrating my sister's 21st birthday, and remember thinking the trip was a last hurrah before motherhood. Two summers ago I left Colorado, pregnant and thought, "next summer we'll be bringing our little one." We've celebrated two New Year's thinking, "in this coming year we will become parents." So, as I was wrapped in a dad hug, I let go of next time.
As I ring in 2009, I will be hopeful that this year will bring us Baby Barto. But I will not hold onto the expectation too tightly, so I can attempt to be open to whatever the universe has in store.
P.S. I promise you that I do think about other things besides Baby Barto related topics. But as our time on the waitlist hits the 24 week mark (which was the last week I wrote in my calendar when I made a countdown back in September), I am trying to embrace the lessons the wait is teaching me. And since most lessons take some time to learn, the blog is a nice place to share the process.
As I ring in 2009, I will be hopeful that this year will bring us Baby Barto. But I will not hold onto the expectation too tightly, so I can attempt to be open to whatever the universe has in store.
P.S. I promise you that I do think about other things besides Baby Barto related topics. But as our time on the waitlist hits the 24 week mark (which was the last week I wrote in my calendar when I made a countdown back in September), I am trying to embrace the lessons the wait is teaching me. And since most lessons take some time to learn, the blog is a nice place to share the process.
Santa & Me
Jose & Me after a yummy mountain breakfast
2 comments:
I totally understand what you mean when you say you are putting your trust out there and not hanging onto things like "next time" anymore. What a peaceful place to be rather than trying to will things to happen. Happy New Year my friend!
Here's to 24 weeks! Here's to "soon" instead of "next time". Here's to hope in 2009!
Happy New Year!
Rebecca
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