Animal Sounds

Motivated by Julie's adorable videos, I busted out our Flip camera. Most of the videos are of Turo's hand because he stops whatever he is doing to reach for the camera. But I managed to get him to perform some animal sounds before he decided he wanted to take over as director.

Then & Now: Auntie Jess

After our referral, I took photos of family and friends with Turo's picture. I was motivated by the picture my dad took of him and Turo "at work". Imagining him with all my favorite people was another way of dealing with the wait. I've been wanting to post "then & now" shots on the blog, so here is another installment.

Jess & Turo, January 2009

Jess & Turo, June 2009

At home

It’s back to school time. Usually that means stocking up on colored pencils, preparing my classroom & thinking about my goals for the year. It’s getting a new list of students, arranging desks and readjusting to waking up early. This year I walked past the school supply section without checking for good deals. I talked with my colleagues in Texas about the drama and changes at their (no longer my) school. I imagined the new history teacher standing in my old room. I love the anticipation of the new year. The promise that it holds. The excitement that comes with starting with a fresh group of kids.

As a teacher, I am used to being home in the summer. But as the kids and teacher head back to the classroom, I am more cognizant of my new position as stay-at-home-mom. The decision to become a housewife came as a bit of a surprise to me. Last summer I was researching daycare. I always assumed I would continue to work after becoming a mother. But somewhere between referral and passing court, we realized my staying home was the best choice for our family.

And like so many things in this journey, I seem to hold numerous feelings about this new role. I have loved being at home with Turo. To watch him blossom each day has been such a treat. I like the simplicity of life right now. Rather than worrying about lesson plans, 120 students, school politics, test scores and household stuff, I can focus on my family. Each day is filled with such sweetness and joy.

Yet when I spoke with my friends in Dallas after their first day back to school, I had a pang of sadness that I was not there with them or in any classroom. And a part of me feels guilty for enjoying this time at home, that somehow I’m being selfish. That really I should be out in the world, making a difference and bringing home a paycheck. Then there is the competitive part of me who feels self-conscious when I’m around anyone who is working. It was especially acute the other night at a political event for Jocelyn Benson, a wife of a friend of mine who is running for Michigan’s Secretary of State. She is around my age and has done incredible, amazing things and is running for office. And me? I’m staying at home. Doesn’t seem as catchy.

As I write this I feel like I should delete all the whiney stuff. Seriously, I am so lucky that I get to be with my son every day. There are so many women for whom this isn’t even an option. Wouldn’t his first family like this same privilege? But watching the words disappear from the screen won’t make my emotions vanish too. They are real, and I always appreciate the honesty of other bloggers. So I’m putting it out there because all these feelings are part of this adventure too.

It's hard to be too whiney when you get to play with this little guy all day

p.s. The Monkey Business Sandwich is peanut butter & banana rolled in a tortilla (honey or raisins are good to add in if you have them on hand.)

Monkey Business Sandwich

The Monkey Business Sandwich was prepared often in the Cronkhite Dining Room during grad school by Natalie, Kristin and me. Today Turo had his first MBS, so I had to document the event for the other lovers of the sandwich.

Enjoying MBS - Summer 2008

Turo is clearly a fan - Summer 2009

Cooking with Turo

I've been cooking more than in my pre-parenting pasta and taco days. At the start of each week, I flip through cookbooks and plan our menu. I have these visions of making things from scratch and some days are more successful than others. Of course having a toddler adds a whole new element to meal preparation. Perhaps that could be the twist on a Top Chef episode. In the middle of a quick-fire challenge, Padma opens the door and toddlers dart into the kitchen pulling pots from the shelves, grabbing pant legs, trying to reach the eggs in the fridge...

Fun in the Kitchen

I know I could put baby-proof latches on stuff, but all the dangerous stuff is up high & I think it is good for him to explore and test stuff out. Plus it's just fun to watch him figure things out.

Filling in the Blanks

In March, I was longing for Buturo to be home. With us. As a family. I took these photos and imagined the day our son would occupy these common spaces.

Thanks Alison & Aunt Katie

My dad is visiting for the weekend and brought this amazing quilt that my stepmom and sister made for Turo. I'm in love with it! And Turo clearly digs it too.

Turo's Room

Back when we were waiting and waiting, I didn't want to work on Baby Barto's room because I was worried that I would jinx things somehow. I guess it was a good thing that I didn't do much since we ended up moving. So finally, the room is done.

(Before we arrived my mom painted the room and my dad put the crib together. My parents have been divorced for two decades and worked together at our house for three days - I guess they were pretty excited about being grandparents.

My stepmom made the little doll in the chair. )

(The clocks are set to Ann Arbor & Addis Ababa time. My parents rocked me to sleep in the same chair in which I now snuggle with my son.)

(The larger frame on the left contains a neat print we picked up in Ethiopia and the cross is from there as well. In the other frames we have photos of Turo's first family and of our family. Jose started having Turo blow a kiss to his first family as part of our bedtime routine. My dad built the cradle for me when I was little.)

(And just because this was cute.)