Why I don’t have a dog, being held prisoner in my own home and thank goodness for the Easter Bunny: Reflections from the frontline of Potty Training

Due to the spring break schedule of our regular classes, I decided this week would be a great time to hunker down and try potty training. Now, I write this mainly as a public service announcement to anyone who has yet to embark on this task and for myself to smile at a year from now when Turo easily is using the potty. Everyone else, feel free to skip this post because who really wants to read about a toddler learning to use the toilet?

This week has been messy and tiring. Turo has been using his little potty once or twice a day for about a month, so this week we shed the diapers completely (expect at nap and bedtime, we’re so not ready for that). There have been many, many, many accidents. We left the house once on Tuesday and that’s been it. I don’t want to break any potential momentum we may be building, and I’m not ready to venture more than 10 feet from a restroom. And then the weather turned ugly, so we haven’t even been able to go outside. Plus, I can’t get much done because I’m keeping a constant watch for potty cues, so my house is a mess, I’m a mess. To cope I have been consuming large amounts of candy left by the Easter Bunny and inhaling the scones and rice krispie treats Jose has specially delivered each morning. On Wednesday, he even brought mid-day Starbucks. He’s such a rock star and is probably so happy he’s at work during this process.

I think we have made some progress, but those first few days I was googling all things potty training. I left a frantic e-mail for a dear, lovely friend who has two fully-able-to-use-the-bathroom daughters. Was I using the right strategy? Was he ready? Why was there so much pee all over my house? (Which has served as a reminder as to why I’ve never wanted a puppy) Will he ever figure this out? I’ve lit birthday candles and sang with each successful trip. I’ve added food coloring to the water. I’ve cleaned up little puddles. I’m tired of saying “Remember, tell Mama when you have to pee or poop.” I’ve emptied a large bag of almond M&Ms and polished off a few Snicker’s. I’ve resisted the urge to bust out the pull-ups. If you call me, guess what I’m going to talk about? My darling friend Jess just started a new job that will have her in Hawaii for two months. As she called with tales of packing and goodbyes and the ocean, I gave her updates of Turo’s potty status. She must really love me to keep calling.

We’ve been at this for four and a half official days. I’m seeing some success, but we aren’t there yet. I remind myself that most of us figure this out at some point. I remind myself that since there have been tons of books and websites dedicated to potty training that it isn’t just a struggle for us. But a gal does begins to wonder how she will work off all the pounds she’s gaining as a result of the chocolate if she can’t leave her house again.

Self-portrait, Day 5, naptime