One week

With only one week (168 hours) to go until our first court date, the magnitude of all that may unfold next week is starting to sink in. Friday evening after blog reading and stroller/carseat searching, I was hit with a wave of exhaustion. I just needed to close my eyes. I curled up on the couch and woke up 2 hours later. I made a pledge to try very hard not to read any more blogs between now and next Monday. I think they were adding to my anxiety. (I made it all day Sunday blog-free, but I must admit I did click on three tonight - just people who are about to travel.) Then yesterday I had a moment of heart pounding panic as I tried to grasp the logistics (remember we only have a crib, a handful of other stuff and 8 words of Amharic) of all we must accomplish between now and "then" (whenever "then" may be). I had to do some major deep breathing to calm myself down. Tonight I was cleaning in the garage (it's like cleaning your dorm room when you have a major paper to do. It needs to be done, so you feel good that you're being productive, but it really shouldn't be a priority). As I moved some Christmas stuff to the green and red tubs, I pictured Baby Barto looking at the Nativity my mom painted or sitting on my lap as I read my childhood holiday books to him. And I was wrapped in a moment of peace.

Time to go to bed. Then it will only be six more days.